New Dawn

Of late, I have learnt to rise
From the bed of languid hopes

Early to sniff at the crimson dawn

That has just begun to lavish

On me the indefatigable joys of being.

Just now I have started putting on

New shoes that bites me delicately

But I don’t bother, I am not scared,

My new rendezvous with life has

Taught me to forget the poison

Fruits of familiar trees, the vile

Canker now cannot touch my feet

Nor the slush of affluent weeds

Can transfix me on unpaved roads,

I’ll wipe off memories of horrible lure

And create my own memories in the

New space making my short life’s

Long span my identity.

I'll make my moments long
Eternities of dreaming truth
Which my years have snatched away
In empty beats of hollow melodies,
Played by hands that rooted me
To a worldly sense of security.

I greet my new dawns with new songs
The late opened litanies of joy. 

Sabita Sahu

Mobile Fixation

Prafulla Kumar Mohanty

Whichever corner of the world you go, you will see someone walk on the road, his ear glued to a tiny instrument which 'connects' people. The world today is abuzz with human gossip. In a picnic scene you will notice men and women busy with their phones. In the legislature or even class rooms people watch forbidden things. The internet makes the world a superstring of valuable connectivity. In the malls, corridors, pavements, cars and buses and even on bikes and bicycles one hand and one ear are in the close conspiracy of personal whispers. In the parks or lonely places lovers laugh, cry and sulk over the mobile phone. Businessmen, rickshaw pullers, even housewives and five year olds play with the phone to keep the game of life alive. No student of T.S.Eliot will ever nod with the line- My people, humble people, I can connect nothing with nothing. No, the poet was wrong. Today the mobile phone can save lives, avoid wars, feed old immobile people and grow your business. Now that India is moving fast towards the digital mode, the Prime Minister advises the poor villagers to do e-banking, money transfers and almost everything that a person needs with the mobile phone.

The internet has now the entire knowledge sphere at its command. If you are a researcher, the cut and paste job has been made easier. If you are a genuine lover of knowledge, this tiny universe of a phone can give you all the knowledge you need without the physical toil of sitting for hours in a library. The modern world does not care for depth or width- information is all. You need headlines, a few snatches of a masterpiece, see a painting of  a Van Gogh and you become an authority. The lecture you deliver to a learned audience is on the wall, you need not practise standing before a large mirror like Bill Clinton, you need not take notes or mug up things. You just look at your mobile and dole out all the wisdom your audience needs. You can ask for all goods and services by touching the screen as if you are holding Alladdin’s lamp which grants all your wishes, legitimate, illegitimate even banal. You can send messages which you alone can decipher, you can buy and sell Gods’ creation without moving from your chair. You can live alone away from your loved ones. You will never be bored or hungry, the changing seasons, time's mutation will never disturb you. With the mobile in your hand your personal universe is in your grip.

But is it really so? Don’t you feel that the world is more than a few data, equations, pictures and information? Your reality becomes virtual, your imagination is an offshoot of biochemical algorithms. Your view of the world is data- centric. And you too are a datum for others.

Yes, the mobile phone is a dear friend in an emergency. When you need transport, service, help, especially that of a doctor or to inform a friend of impending disaster the mobile comes as a god-send. But beyond that it is a obsessive toy which makes you a child who constantly lives in  wonder not like Alice but like a lost child who finds solace from a non – welcoming reality.

I know people who after charging the phone pray let not anything go wrong with the phone; let not the networks fail. The mobile phone is a boon to the modern man. No argument. But it is not the be all and end all of life. The children today, particularly the school kids, have stopped reading books. The museum or art gallery does not hold any attraction for them. The teacher is also expendable-Google sir will give us lessons. It has made the young persons self immersed; they have no time for anything. Social media absorbs their intelligence; their creativity is confined to a few wisecracks.

Make the mobile your friend, not your lover, not your soulmate.Listen to your own authentic voice instead of listening to or reading the voices of others. Be yourself, not a mirrored image.

Mission Of My Life

I know I can never reach up to you

Nor can I ever touch you, for

You have built your castle so high

That shames the towering clouds

In the blue expanse of the sky.

I don’t know how long will it take

To break your meditation, no Menaka I

But pray step out from under

The canopy of silence to spread

Your message of Truth, Love and God.

After my appeal the stars have

Given up their comfort zones

To embellish the blanket of grass

To listen to the meditating Hermit

In bright silence the Om of love.

I know  the road is tough and long

With weeds and canker, hateful rancour

Of centuries of hate and banter

But I’m sure you will lure

With your magic of soft and pure

Thoughts and  practice of silent love

To show the path ahead to me and all.

I know you will hang on the Cross

Face bullets and arrows only for me

To see that I live in peace and glory

Achieving goals of our love.

Come forward  my soldier

Fight the hate, fight the arrows

Of man’s violent heart and mind;

If you get shot I will be there

To hold you in my loving arms

To fight the battle divine and bold.

Even if you fall never worry,

My lap will unfold and carry you

To your final rest,

If rest you must.

This is the Mission of my love,

My goal and My Salvation 

sabita sahu

Freedom Of Speech

Prafulla Kumar Mohanty

The Indian Constitution guarantees freedom of expression. In all democracies of the world this freedom is respected except in the communist countries. You are free to express an opinion or take a call on any situation. But is this absolute? Ezra Pound’s free expression landed him in the jail. Another great American mind, Noam Chomsky gained national acknowledgement of his genius for his rational intensity and uninhibited expression on the ideological process of indoctrination of America in Vietnam and the Middle East. But in India freedom of expression is like a river in spate, it hurts, inundates and dries up on its own. The law or the constitution has no control over any form of expression. When M.F Hussain's paintings were vandalized no one dared to speak. Ultimately the man left India, took citizenship elsewhere and died unlamented and unsung. China today claims all territories contiguous to their land as theirs. If anyone opposes on principles and facts China challenges to the battlefield, as if military power is the ultimate arbitrator of all issues.

What disturbs the rational mind is the impunity with which opinions are expressed about persons, religions and political rivals. Last  month in Rameswaram the memorial of APJ Abdul Kalam was inaugurated. The next day some’ great visionaries’ found fault with the presence of the Bhagbat Gita near the statue of Kalam. The charge was BJP is communalising an icon who is above all religions. The Bhagbat Gita is a great poem, not necessarily a Hindu Scripture. Germans, Americans and many nations read the Gita and research on it. It is a view of life and reality and definitely one of the best literary works of the world. Why should doubts be expressed in polarising terms on such an innocuous issue?

Intolerance has crossed all constitutional limits in India. Jawaharlal Nehru University can celebrate the ‘martyrdom ‘ of Burhan Wani, a Hijbul terrorist and also of Afzal Guru a terrorist who masterminded an attack on India’s most sacred temple- The Parliament, slogans like – Afzal we are ashamed that your killers are still alive- can be shouted in a choric fashion and no eyebrows will be raised. But when the Kargil Victory Day is celebrated in Hyderabad Central University the temporary memorial could be demolished post midnight in a clandestine manner. The Chief Minister of Jammu and Kashmir can shout if Article 35-A is abrogated there will not be anyone in Jammu and Kashmir to lend a shoulder to the tricolour. Politically loaded statements can be made  without  disturbing the rational balance of the Indian mind.

Yes lynching is condemnable in the name of the holy cow or in the name of ideology  but how many people condemn the lynching of RSS workers in Kerala? Rational judgement and constitutional propriety should not be taken recourse to selectively. But this is what happens in India. The free thinkers like Dhabolkar are killed. No one is prepared for a public debate. If Kamal Hassan finds fault with the Mahabharata defeat him with logic and a sound reading of the text. But no, people will threaten him. Similarly Madhur Bhandarkar has made a film on the 1975 emergency in India. He was hounded by congress workers- why? Watch the film and criticize on his wrong reading of History- if any- and comment on the flaws in other artistic or technical areas. Madhur Bhandarkar also has the same right of self –expression as any other creative person.

We notice two trends in India today. A cultural aggression and a defeatist attitudinal dynamics attacking with nervousness all citadels of life.These come to clashes and create only noise pollution. The rationalist intellectuals now should interfere and call a spade a spade. People must be made to understand that there is a limit to freedom of expression. If that Rubicon is crossed the constitutional values will be in jeopardy.

Corruption

SABITA SAHU         : Indian civilization always prided in moral purity. But in Independent India we experience the opposite of it. People are corrupt, morally bankrupt and spiritually empty. Can there be any  explanation for this change?

PRAFULLA MOHANTY : I think you are too simplistic in your observation. Ofcourse you are right, there is corruption in all spheres of life. But do you think in the hoary past Indians were angelic?

S.S      :  No, not angelic but they were god fearing and law abiding. They never ran after power and pelf.

P.K.M   : Turn the pages of history.  In every page you will see a king or a strong man aspiring for things which are not legitimately his. The epics- Ramayana and Mahabharata are full of such illustrations. Greed leads to corruption-

S.S        :  But the epics demonstrate how evil is trounced by good. Corruption has no place in society. Ofcourse corruption is there but the epics teach us how  to eradicate it and how to have a just society.

P.K.M    :  Then why the Indians, the proud inheritors of the Vedic and Epic culture of our great past are today at number 89 in the corruption ranking of the world?

S.S         :  That’s why I asked. Why do you think corruption exists?

P.K.M   :  Because we wish it to exist. Man is not naturally self-sufficient in everything but he is full of desires. He would greed for power which naturally corrupts. He would desire for money which often leads to moral perversion. Lust is perhaps the worst form of corruption. It destroys Troys and Lankas-

S.S        : Let us confine ourselves to economic crimes like bribe-taking and giving-

P.K.M   : Yes, bribe giving is the beginning of corruption. I give a bribe to someone to get what I don’t deserve. Thereby I also deny the rightful person his due.

S.S       : Yes the third rate students bribe teachers to get the highest marks. But I blame the teachers who accept the bribe to do injustice to the meritorious students.

P.K.M    :  Yes you are right, But some people think money and power can buy prestige and social standing. They use that power on those who are greedy.

S.S      : But when I see the MP’s and MLA’s being bought my blood boils. They are people’s representatives. Why do they greed for money and power when they already have them?

P.K.M    : Because they have no soul force. They value these mundane things more than integrity, character and personality. Inside they are all paupers and sell themselves for false social pride.

S.S          :  But false social pride can never satisfy the soul-

P.K.M     :  Provided they have souls. The seat of the soul is at the centre of a multisensory person’s activities.

S.S         :  Yes Gary Zukav tells us that, But a normal person should accept his lot and be satisfied with what he has-

P.K.M    :  Why should he? When he sees people could be duped, fooled and cheated like Yudhistira, he plays Shakuni.

S.S         :  Yudhistira should not have played the dice game in the first place.

P.K.M     :  But the desire to gamble and get things which may come easily is difficult to resist. Desire asThe Buddha said is the root cause of man’s sorrow, everyone knows it but goes to put his finger in fire.

S.S        :  If you don’t put your finger in fire how will you know that fire burns? (laughing) Evil I think is more attractive than good.

P.K.M   :  Yes. Gurucharan Das’s treatment of the Mahabharata is called- The difficulty of being good- good compels hard work, discipline and basically renunciation which is difficult to practice.

S.S       :  But we have so many laws and law enforcing agencies yet corruption is, like a birth mark never leaves the body. In India the politicians are mostly corrupt-

P.K.M    :  Not only in India, all over the world. Politicians, bureaucrats and even the smallest man in society. Moral chastity,  one may say, is lack of opportunity.

S.S        :  O’ This is an extremist statement.

P.K.M    :  Nevertheless true.

S.S        :  Is there no cure? Can we not eradicate corruption from the society.

P.K.M    : We can, If we do not desire for ease, comfort,  luxury or power,but we have to settle for less. Are you prepared  to settle for less?

S.S         :  Maybe not but we can live within our means.

P.K.M    :  Look here Sabita, If there is a Seven Star Hotel you would like to go at least once.

S.S        :  So there should not be a Seven Star Hotel?

P.K.M    :  Yes, create them but make it accessible to everyone. If there is heaven we would like to go there. We create dreams, We imagine and create luxury and we want to have a share of that luxury.

S.S        :  So don’t dream, just live. Don’t you think that will be absolutely boring?

P.K.M    :  You have to choose between boredom and Seven Star Dreams.

S.S         :  (smilingly)  Yes I get the point. Thank You.

   

Memory And Dream

I wish I could relive my childhood

Sprightly pure and innocent

Ready to defy the dictates

Of kings and lords, my own master

As I was: but how fast, before

I realised the days were gone

Leaving me memory stuck.

Now as I sit alone in my

Lonely room, like slides they come

In quick succession those glorious days

Inviting my lazy bones to go for

A swing ride to the open sky,

Rising to the tree tops and touching stars

And falling with a fearsome thrill

To land again on the soft grass

Playing hide and seek with

Heaven and earth!

It felt like yesterday sitting

In the corner of my room, mending

The racket broken by my brother

In a mock fight over the new cock-

Shouting – never to talk to me again

But when he hugged me from behind

My anger was gone the next moment.

I wish I was a kid again

Playing Kabbadi, Kho-Kho and

Badminton with all those who are

Now slow, busy and lonely

Recycling time to spring again

Singing tuneless songs to mock at

The fights of the high and mighty

And long for the mother’s lap

The celestial bed on earth

And sleep away the divide and rule

The games played by the fools

And wake up to a new world!

Vanishing Love Letters

                                                                 

                                                                 
                                                                                                                                                                                                     


Prafulla Kumar Mohanty

Letters and particularly love letters are now a vanishing form of personal expression. I am not thinking of the official and corporate letters which have nothing to do with the self and soul of an individual. People today have no time to write love letters because the other forms of communication with your lady love are now available. But at the same time, love is no more a soulful commitment between man and woman. In truth, love is more a verb than a noun for the modern generations. A video call, a mail or a dinner date in a hotel with soft music playing to match the flowing champagne is all that love means to people who are always busy. Love is a life time ‘occupation’ where reality and dream are so interwoven to form a scenic tapestry  around your personal Eden that you perceive the truth, beauty and divinity of a person- man or woman- through whom you experience the whole of creation like the Vishwarupa in the Gita. Love is the most poetic experience a person can ever have and it has a beginning without an end.

People who are separated from their beloved they normally write letters. Imagine a woman receiving a letter on lotus leaf written with a stylus or just with nails, which comes hidden in a lotus floating in an aquaduct! The very romance of such experiences elevates love to superhuman heights. Kalidas’s hero, the Yaksa could not write to his beloved so he sends his intense message through the clouds. Such messengers are noticed in classical poetry. In English poetry we have poets like John Donne writing two love letters every day. How many can say: “For God’s sake, hold your tongue and let me love”? If you read the love letters of Shelley and Keats you will experience the joy and pain of love in lyrical measures. Love letter is an extra poetic expression of the lovesick soul longing for a dream union in a celestial atmosphere. It lifts up the lovers to heights and depths immeasurable by the instruments available to man. It purifies and ennobles the soul. It is not ‘time’s fool’ as Shakespeare would have it. Love transcends time and space and deifies the lovers. The most profane becomes the most divine by the power of love. This is not a mere passion or a release of libidinous energy; It is a sacrificial reaching out of a person who identifies his/ her lover with God’s many splenderoured truth. Love’s real measure is the intensity of separation.

The twenty first century lover, however, does not believe in the mirrored levels of love’s truth. Even the foreplay, the caressing words are gradually vanishing. The fate of love letters is no different. Who has the time to look at midnight moon for hours and write woeful ballads to his mistress’ eyebrow? they will ask. Love is an amorous affair, the short-lived it is the better, for, man must do the million things that call for our attention in the present world of opportunities. I think Hindi films have shown the way, rather the transition from long languorous biraha to short cuts to bedrooms. One song in Saraswatichandra admonished the lover not to waste a life for love: There are other manly things to do.

Writing love letters now is a dying art. The poetic heart that poured honeyed or agonized words for the beloved are now non flowing. All over the world it is now the pounding of fingers on keyboards that keeps all communications alive. Three letters now speak volumes which the beloved wants to hear or read: I.L.U. And that comes in ample measure.

No tears over this dying art. No attempt to revive it will succeed. I.L.U. is enough to spur a dreamy walk to the nearest rendezvous. But there are still lovers who burn the LED nights copying out letters and poetic lines from old masters to create impression: Cheers!

Indian Culture Under Western Impact

SABITA SAHU  :  I feel that the youth of India are going away from their Indian roots. Indian culture is impacted by Western Education and thought, I am worried that one day people may cut off from India’s history and the value system.

PRAFULLA MOHANTY :  Your perception is true to a great extent. But which India do you have in mind; the hoary past, the Vedic culture or the India of today- post- Independence India?

S.S         :  Certainly India after 1947, The India which we have seen during our life time.

P.K.M   : Then remember India was never a whole country ruled by a democratic system of polity under one written constitution. The India of the past was fragmented by different cultures because of the differences in the values followed by different kings. There was no idea of India.

S.S      :  Yes I accept. But we have a great cultural inheritance-respect for people and institutions, love of poetry, music and sculpture and especially a culture of tolerance. All that is gradually changing. I feel the impact of Western Education has changed our inherited values.

P.K.M    :  After Independence we certainly accepted the British system which was meant to create personnel to man their administration. The Macaulay system, however, is no longer followed. But modern science and technology, space exploration, engineering, modern medicine had to follow the West as models to build on...

S.S         :  That’s true but it has changed our life style, our family values, our food habits and even our attitudes. No one believes now in patriotism. People are more individualistic and pursue personal interests. Community sense is gone......

P.K.M    :  Such changes are bound to happen. We had inherited a culture of poverty where the joint family, preoccupation with moksa, religious identities were paramount. We never thought of cleanliness even. Health care was in the domain of gods and saints-

S.S         : Death of superstitions is welcome but our dress, food and family life have also changed.

P.K.M    :  This is because we are comparatively affluent. We have learnt to fulfil our dreams by our own efforts. We are the maker of our own destiny. The Vedic system followed Group learning .The classroom system of the west is also a group learning process. But modern educators emphasize the growth and nourishment of individual talent.

S.S         : That’s because of the Western impact. The West thought Knowledge is Power .They wanted the human being to grow powerful and dominate and now see where it has landed our modern youth!

P.K.M    : Well, the Indians believed that Wisdom is Liberty. Sa Vidya Ya Vimuktaya- Knowledge is that which liberates us and where did it land us. Whoever came to India, Alexander, Timur, Mahmud of Gazini, the Moguls and finally the British-

S.S         : That’s because we believed in peace and coexistence and Ahimsa-

P.K.M    : All those values have undergone a sea change. Survival in an aspirant world, competitive  economies calls for the new knowledge of knowledge societies where people will be self reliant and tolerant , accommodative without compromising self interest and peace-loving without being submissive-

S.S          :  But the West is also learning from India, Our Ashoka, Gandhi have also impacted the western minds.

P.K.M    :  Yes Martin Luther king (jr) Thoreau and Tolstoy have enriched their minds influenced by Indian values but what about Hitler, Mao Tse Tung, Che Guavara? If knowledge is used for domination it is not knowledge –

S.S         :  Buddhism has dominated the East, Japan and China-

P.K.M    :  Yes, but see what China is doing in Doklam! When knowledge stems from Trillions and weapons of mass destruction or half- baked knowledge of God and religion you will try to dominate.

S.S         : There comes Indian knowledge to the rescue of the world.

P.K.M    :  Absolutely, but remember to enforce peace, love and tranquillity you need power. The Mahabharata was fought for justice and peace. The two great wars were fought for democracy. And now we fight terrorism to save civilization.

S.S         :  Can knowledge create a terror free world? Are Buddha and Gandhi still relevant to our situations?

P.K.M     :  I wish I could predict. If Gandhian economics is followed- Small is Beautiful was basically a Gandhian idea borrowed by Sumachar-Perhaps a Village Swaraj like polity will develop. But I don’t see that coming unless we return to the Stone Age again.

S.S         :  India can make a beginning. We can project the values of our cultural inheritance.

P.K.M    :  I can’t agree more. But it is too late for that. We may at best have a basic component of our core values in the syllaby and courses of studies. But knowledge must create jobs and generate wealth. We can’t pursue knowledge for its own sake. We can’t afford that luxury.

S.S        :  So there is no hope?

P.K.M    :  Knowledge culture, civilizations are like flowing streams. They will gather history as they flow into the sea.

S.S         :  (smilingly) Yes, I get the point. Thank you.

Epitome Of Love

Had it been so easy to express

The ecstatic feelings of love

Time and space would have done it

But truth chooses the silence of serenity

To whisper magic to the virgin soul.

When the moon blooms, stars glitter

Night becomes the messenger

Of soothing breath from one heart to another

And sings ballads of true hearts.

They say love is blind

But I say it is blazing bright

That lights up the mind and soul

A boon bestowed by the Almighty

On man’s universe as a whole.

If things come to a dead end

Love will burn with pristine flame

The sun will wake up the lotus

The moon his fragrant lily.

My prayer for you my love

Will grow and expand ever

Not of charity but of purity

As you are the epitome of love.

sabita sahu

Old Age Home

Prafulla Kumar Mohanty

After visiting an Old Age Home in New Orleans I was quiet for close to an hour. When my hostess noticed the sudden change, she asked: why a pale mist has suddenly settled on your face and body? She was as intelligent as she was beautiful and could guess that my gloom was due to my first exposure to a scene of octogenarians seeking new excitement in their lives to live the full quota of their time. In fact that was my feeling and the reason for my mood swing was the apparent meaninglessness of the idea of family. If the old men and women are resigned to their fate because of the neglect, if not abandonment of their children why should a man raise a family and sacrifice his youth and energy to shape up the future of his children? Later at dinner time, however, I was reconciled to the reality of modern living. My hostess gave me the most pragmatic and acceptable argument : let the children live their  own life. Why should we depend on them and why should they sacrifice their future prospects to take care of us? We repaid our debt to our parents by rearing them up and giving them good and proper education, as far as practicable, to carve out their own lives as they pleased. Yes, I thought that’s it.

But is that all? A man and a woman marry, raise a family, beget children, lavish all their love on their upbringing, sacrifice their youth and comforts to give them proper education and finally marry them off and say goodbye?  And when they are old, their nerves fraught with memories of a lifetime they totter and wobble, they will move to an old age home and wait for their end. They will wait for the Mother’s day/ Father’s Day call from their children, talk about it to others and would feel redeemed! This may be true of the middle class and the moneyed people. But what about the poor, old, sick parents who wait for a letter or phone call and for some cheque or bank draft from their children? They are not in the old age homes. They continue to struggle in their small cottages or rented houses depending on the mercy of their children. And further down are the old men and women who spend their last few sad days in government shelter or charity homes. Their children like stray dogs have strayed into forlorn worlds of grey mists or fatalistic drums Lord knows where. Is life so cheap and man so expendable.

We have, however, to accept modern realities. Our opportunities have increased, mobility has increased and the avenues of life now are vast and varied.  The emotional bond which kept the family together is now fragile. Children in most families think that everyone must fend for himself or herself. Why should parents expect the support of their children? Some even argue you have no right to bring a life to the world if you cannot give the best available in the world and release him / her into the larger world to soar high according to the strength of their wings. Emotions have no role in life, what matters is the individuals’ preparedness to face the challenges of life. If Bill Gates or Ambanis are asked they may agree. But in some corner of their hearts a pricking sensation will throb for some time. Is it love, perhaps? But love does not matter, mutual tolerance at the level of the spouses or even countries or ideologies are more important than the romantic ideals of the past cultures.

Some would perhaps think of the Joint Family where of necessity, if not love, three generations lived together, hopefully, happily. Ashaparna Devi has shown both sides of life. But we have to admit that the individual entity today would like to create a separate world to rival God. If parents are old they are useless, fit for mercy, charity or what you will.

I think love and mercy are not yet dead. God in man is not yet dead. As far as practicable give the old your love and care:  For in the ultimate analysis that’s what man needs in the end.

Why Marriages Fail ?

  A Dialogue

SABITA SAHU  :  Marriage is one of the oldest institutions in the world. All religions, tribes respect this institution yet marriages fail. Why do you think marriages fail?

PRAFULLA MOHANTY  :   Marriage is accepted as a sacrament. Irrespective of religion,  caste and other differences, marriage is universally accepted as a uniting factor. It unites two beings, two separate human specimens and also two families. They agree on the marriage altar to protect each other’s interest. In Hindu marriages the man is given the additional responsibility of pardoning up to ten mistakes –

S.S        :  All that is true. If marriage is so sacred it should not be on the rocks  at anytime-

P.K.M  :  Provided you respect its sanctity. Two individuals with independent pursuits of their own may live under the same roof but the marriage cannot sustain itself. The spouses must accept each other’s talents , pursuits and callings-

S.S        :  How is that possible ? If the wife is a creative person and the husband is a professional they may acknowledge each other’s talent but it is not easy to accept the wife’s popularity-

P.K.M  :  Yes, you have said it. By accepting your wife’s popularity and fame if you feel small, the marriage will fail. But if you are proud of your dancing or singing or writing or executive wife you may be a happy person.

S.S       :   But is it easy to sacrifice one’s ego and accept the world of your own wife?

P.K.M  :   No, not normally. But if you are a genius in your own field it is possible. For instance, The Curies who were both Nobel Laureates,  or Jean Paul Sartre and Simon De  Beauvoir who were great  writers in their own chosen areas; they did not marry in a  church but lived together – there marriage does not fail or succeed. It is only a social bond that is respected. In such cases the spouses do not find time to even think about conjugal relationship.

S.S       :  What will you call such marriages? Basking in mutual glory? Marriages are meant to raise a family, bring up children and give them proper education and make them fit to live on their own.

P.K.M  :  You perhaps think of social compatibility. The family is the smallest unit of society. A married couple should live together following the social norms. That is no more possible. Some people marry for sex, some for children-‘ Putrarthe Kriyata Vhariya or Sukharthe Kriyate Vhariya  ‘-if there is sexual incompatibility the marriage fails. If there is promiscuity naturally the male or female will search for new partners. If no son is born for no fault of hers the woman is blamed- and marriage  fails.

S.S        : The other aspects of marriage like building a home, taking care of the family or creating an identity for the clan- What about these features of marriage? Personality maladjustment or sheer lust is not conducive to  marriage. These are cultural aberrations.

P.K.M  :  Yes, but the society has not yet found remedies rather these lustful aberrations are accommodated by certain male friendly rules. Of course those artificial rules are now changing but human nature does not change.

S.S     :  But patriarchy still holds sway. When woman was not educated and economically dependent she had to live with her husband sacrificing her life. But today woman have their own identities. Why should they submit to male shenanigans or ego?

P.K.M  :  Your question has built in answers. Marriages give you a chance to create your separate universe. Man and Woman together create a separate world, you rival God and that is the success of your marriage.  If you want to succeed, surrender your ego.  Life is not an ego trip-

S.S        :  Often woman and even man marry under compulsion of the family, Those marriages fail-

P.K.M  :  But what about Love marriages? Most love marriages fail, why?

S.S        : Because their mutual discovery ends.

P.K.M  :  And boredom sets in. As long as you discover new things in each other the marriage lasts.

S.S        :  But how long can this mutual discovery go on?

P.K.M  :  Life long. If you have nothing to discover in your spouse after six days or six months of sexual delight you are bored. You will think of divorce.

S.S.       : How can marriages be saved?

P.K.M  :  By accepting each other and surrendering yourself at your spouse. But live your own life.

S.S        :  What do you mean by surrender?

P.K.M  :  Not that you will fall at your spouse’s feet. But be proud of his /her achievements and think that what all you earn money, fame, status these are for him/ her. The world you create is a shared world but your spouse is the acknowledged author. Surrender your ego, surrender your lust on the altar of love.

 S.S        :  Is it  possible?

P.K.M  :  Yes, if you love each other, which I know is difficult. But love is the foundation of the success of marriage.

S.S  :  Yes, I guess so, Thank you.