Choices

 

Purchase whatever you like

if your purse permits,

don’t linger don’t go on rejecting

showing your dislike

for artistic designs of men

who had worked for days together

 

Eat whatever comes to you

don’t be finicky for

that is not your last meal

reject rubbish, reject leftovers

but accept unchanging reality

with changeful tastes.

 

If you love someone

be it at first sight, long sight

or many sights

take her to your soul

if you move from club to club

party to party

you will never get love:

Love gets you not to select

or reject but to accept

embrace a woman like

your fate, destiny

why waste life searching for better

if you have the good

make her the Best.

Sabita Sahu 

DRAUPADI - 74

  

Prafulla Kumar Mohanty's 

DRAUPADI - 74

 

Those who waited for the dawn were confused,

the birds shrieked on the trees

the temple bells did not ring, priests looked up

the sky for the sun to appear but the sky

the vast spread of void

in dark befuddled agony

hung on men and women as a murky shroud

causing fear of doom.

Sudeshna, Virat and the palace ran around

in fear and shock, who could kill Kichaka?

Soldiers in that infernal darkness searched

all possible places for the enemy lurking

in shadows, may be for another attack:

Sudeshna calmed them all - Arrange for

funeral, it's the work of the Divine

let humans do their duty to honour the dead.

 

The Pandavas were alert, Draupadi

confined herself to her room after

a public show of sympathy and concern

over Kichaka's violent death.

Kanka advised king Virat not to panic

lest the enemies attacked Kichakaless

Matsya exploiting a weakened kingdom:

But the king received shattering news

messengers reported a massive army

is at the borders led by Bhisma, Drona.

Duryodhana has stolen all the Matsya cows,

another messenger hurried to Virat's

presence giving another bitter shock

Trigarta has attacked the kingdom Sire!

 

Sickly Virat in nervous excitement

looked appealingly at Kanka and called

his ministers and military officers;

Kanka held Virat's hand and said, O' King

when you have Vallav in your palace,

you should go to war with Trigarta.

Who! Vallav, the cook?

 Are you out of your mind?

War is not a kitchen art -

I know trust me

one Vallav will destroy the Trigarta pride.

You will know who he is, now

time is at a premium, go king

and laurels will meet you half way:

Virat moved with his generals

the palace drowned in gloom

prayed for respite dumb and numb.

 

Who will save us from the Kuru Army?

The wailing grew as the sun winked

a ray of light, the young Uttar kumar

dressed in battle gear bravely said:

no more panic, I'll fight the Kurus

get my horse ready and be quiet.

Sudeshna clasped her full panoplied

brave son and cried bitterly - No

my eyes and ears, you are only a boy

how can you stand before Bhisma's

shafts, Duryodhana's mace, Karna's arrows!

No my son let Matsya sink to hell

I'll not leave you for the maws of death.

Don't make a coward of Prince Uttar,

I beseech you My queen let the Prince

go to the front but with Brihannala -

Draupadi stood before Sudeshna

her flowing hair and blistering eyes -

If Brihannala is with him Indra's thunder

will fall like broken arrows at the

feet of Prince Uttar, let the Prince go

to earn heroic glory to crown

his tender head - But Brihannala!

Are you so witless Sairindri to send

a woman to protect my boy from Kuru fury?

Yes madam, Brihannala was with

Arjuna as charioteer for some time,

he knows the art of war, believe  me

let the Prince go, I assure you he will

come back with honours to swell your heart.

 

DRAUPADI - 73

   

Prafulla Kumar Mohanty's 

DRAUPADI - 73

 

After her Puja Sudeshna sent for Sairindri

with a broad smile she took her inside

Sairindri, you are lucky, Kichaka is pleased

to bestow his favours on you, go make him

happy, all your bad days will end - Madam!

Are you the same queen Sudeshna,

the Mistress of the Matsya palace, the Mother

to your numerous subjects? How could you

utter such things betraying your own

womanly self? You want to sacrifice me

in the fire of your brother's lust? A sister

playing  procuress for her brother is a

new low in nature's fall. Do you think

I am so helpless, fortune's doormat,

any cynical muscle man can have me for dinner?

I am not a mere body, an alluring frame

to warm beds - I am a spirit which moves

this beauteous flesh to articulate energy.

None can touch me, none can eye me with

vile intention, I will rise like apocalypse

to drown creation in the Dark Sea -

Sairindri Sairindri - pardon me my impudence

my fear and insecurity has subdued my

feminine grace to such nether folly -

Sudeshna sobbed violently, with folded

hands she said - Sairindri you know

Matsya is  Kichaka's gift to us, to deny him

means death for us, I know not what to do

save me Sairindri tell me how to overcome

this unseemly crisis to escape Kichaka's wrath.

 

Draupadi hid her tears, and walked fast

to tell Yudhistira to do something but Kanka

heard everything with a bowed head and said

Go to Bhima, I cannot speak a word

to anyone and if I do, our secrets

will jeopardise our anonymity which

we cannot afford, go to him - Draupadi

went to the royal kitchen and told Bhim

everything including Sudeshna's fears.

Bhima's eyes turned red in anger

his fists tightened but Draupadi calmed

him to think for a while: Bhima

asked Draupadi to obey and go after

the fourth day moon is seen in the sky,

he would be there, he promised

to avenge her insult suitably.

Tell Arjuna to play the pakhauj

in fast beats the whole night.

 

Brihannala looked hurt and sad

Kichaka's star will be down tonight

take heart my love your protection

is our mission, tonight will end evil

and all  vile ducts will be sealed finally.

 

Draupadi went to Sudeshna's room

to find her morose dull and sick

Sairindri! She came forward to meet

Draupadi stopped her raising her hand;

I will go Queen prepare me for sacrifice.

If the sacrificial fires engulf Matsya

don't blame me for the chilling heat.

She sat blind sinking into a chair

Sudeshna too slumped on the bed sobbing.

 

The fateful sun set on time

stars appeared as winking omen.

Sudeshna played Sairindri

made her up as Draupadi

whom she never saw, Sairindri

was ready in scarlet radiance

to kill all passions of the world

with one fatal glance, Sudeshna

put on her all her diamonds,

rubies, sapphires, pearls - Sairindri

pardon me, from this moment on

the woman in me is dead, let not

any other woman betray her own

let not woman yield to lust,

I may burn in hell for sending

you to Kichaka in helpless

surrender to the greed of power.

But Sairindri -- I know Majesty

you do it for fear of Kichaka

but tell me honest Madam

am I only a body a sexpot

when I can create smiles all around

throw bounties of joy and sweetness

with my words, deeds and love!

All my life my lame hands

caught only straws of untruth

when my hands could shape truth

love and beauty potter like

with life's amorphous clay!

Be guilt free Mistress you'll

see and hear the harvest of truth

before the new sun lights up

your world with kind eyes.

 

Sudeshna gave her a basket

of sweets, a bottle of wine and

kissed Sairindri's forehead

wishing her divine protection.

 

The moon arose

a bleary line of cold light

in the dark ominous sky.

Vallav turned Vallavi

and sat on the appointed bed

in Sairindri's guise

long veiled in fineries,

Brihannala's pakhauj

rang out in fatal beats

reverberating Virat's kingdom

the night's wings flapped

as though trapped in its own cage

time stood on its toes

the throbbing timbre rose

like the screams of the hunted.

Kichaka staggered his  entry

the night thundered cloudless

Arjuna's fingers bled

agents of good and evil roared

as the pakhauj cracked

bone and flesh rolled

silence killed the air stiff.

 

Time was released, night moved

Draupadi from behind the arras

saw the ball of flesh the carcass.

She ran to blood sweating Bhima

tearkissed him in love's  gleam.

Left the mansion as Arjuna stopped

the waking birds sang evil's dirge.

Yes Is No

Phoneless, messages, bouquets

all come in sequences like

pebbles, sand, leftover foam

drying up in half a second.

Images turn turtle

gold becomes bronze

flowers sting like asps,

for the axial joy is

lost like diamond below the sea.

 

My soul is dumb as the words

hurriedly typed in a message

and closed like the midnight lotus

will my light ever come

to breathe out the petals?

 

Yes light will come

flowers will bloom but

my bloom will wait for

the soul of light to awaken my soul.

Sabita Sahu.

My Love Is Dumb

If you feel love is a statement

a declaration of intent, a wordy

musical round in showy glamour

I don’t know what to say

I love you is a cliché a hackneyed

slogan reassuring the weak.

 

I have nothing to declare

except my silent prayer before God

make my love outlive your Time.

 

Dinner parties picnics orgies

like Krishna’s Rasa I hate,

I am Radha in my small kunj

always hungry of your presence

come if you love me, I have

all the stars in party drunk mood.

 

Foreign trips, cruises in luxury yacht

are all here in my small hut

the sea invites, the sky offers space,

the planets in the solar system

are ready to be gopis in our Rasa.

 

Love happens like the tides

swelling when the moon is full

love is not a turkey breast to be

chewed and swallowed with champaign

my love is God’s elixir

let’s drink together to immortality.

Sabita Sahu.

 

 

 

DRAUPADI -72

  

Prafulla Kumar Mohanty's 

DRAUPADI - 72

Draupadi's days were a load on her eyelids

each night of futile hope ended in despair

the forced smiles simulated loyalty

to earn shelter and safety.

Her comfort lay in her daily contact

with her husbands but her lips were sealed,

eyes forbidden to light up in recognition.

King Virat was kind,

Sudeshna, Uttara  were loving,

the other maids were civil

yet Draupadi's feet were never firm.

Her mind was whirling by inner storms

of uncertain fear and betrayal: Only

a stolen word with Arjuna and a pat by Bhima

reassured her playacting self to move on.

Often she sat with Sudeshna to watch Uttara's

dance practice sessions having stealthy eyefuls

of Brihannala whose pakhauj beats went

faster making Uttara miss steps

much to the pleasant taunts of unmanly Arjuna

and he demonstrated the steps waving his

long plaits causing a glint of mischievous

joy in Draupadi's eyes unnoticed by others.

Except such moments of sorrowing pleasure,

she was mindful of avoiding attention.

 

One day during the Navratri at Sunrise

Draupadi was in the palace garden plucking

flowers sunkissed and pearl washed for puja.

Her dainty feet wet on the slippery grass

the light on her morning face crimsoned

the oleanders, her long tapering fingers

soft plucking malati, champak,  jui

made the garden hum like ecstatic bees.

At that moment Kichaka appeared

on the balcony of his mansion,

his eyes got stuck on Draupadi's radiance,

impassioned, he almost ran to the garden

much to the shock of Draupadi  who ran  away

when chased by the hungry eyes of Kichaka

but slipped and fell.

Before Kichaka reached her she sprang up

and smartly ran  into the Queen's chambers,

breathing heavy in profane fear.

Sudeshna heard in mute helplessness

and imagined the rest as she knew her brother

and anticipated a moral crisis.

However she comforted Sairindri and went her way.

 

Kichaka entered his sister's place

where is she he demanded; Sudeshna

pretending innocence asked, who? For whom

my great brother has come to me so early

the sun is yet to touch your shining gear,

who has disturbed your day before it began?

Don't try to divert my mind sister, she

that nymph who has just waved into

your chambers, when my eyes fell on her

I lost my day, she ran away from

my bewitched eyes and pounding heart

a golden deer chased by Madan's shafts -

O brother your wine fumed eyes

are not awake yet,

you are still in your moony lassitude - Stop Sis,

I saw her enter your chambers,

I am mad sister, I must have her,

I was never love stung by a  woman,

save me sis, save me from death:

send her to my place at nightfall, if not

you know what I can do to Matsya  -   Brother!

Don't be rash, she is not ordinary, she is

regal, her modesty should not be mistaken

as weakness, she is a graceful person -

Leave her, I will send you others

more voluptuous and artful

for your sensual Night -  

No sister send her to me she alone

can regale my life tonight - Don't forget

my disappointment is a mad fire, if I -

Sudeshna held Kichaka's hand, look

my brother, never berate a woman's virtues

it will burn you on the pyre of pride:

Kichaka pushed her - don't madden me,

what virtue, no virtue can save her,

Is she not a woman ! A Woman's virtue

gets redeemed in giving pleasure,

nothing more nothing less- I'll wait for her -

kichaka rushed out leaving Sudeshna dazed.

His Wish

Today I jumped from the table,

See I am fine: His wish

said mother but don't do it.

 

I jumped from my school balcony

only a few scratches : His wish

said mother but never again.

 

Today I topped in the class

Good: His wish said mother

a broad smile lighting her face.

 

Today father died, who will

support my studies: His wish

said mother, her eyes belching tears.

 

Mother is now gone, was it also

His wish to make me fight alone?

 

I am now a pilot - not of a ship

I fly a fighter plane deep into

enemy territory, blasting bridges

making orphans at will,

my love was ruined by his

disapproval of my career,

I am homeless: I live

in a barrack, greying

I sleep fitfully, search for

certainties  I don't know of what kind.

 

Is it all His Wish?

To send me to orphanages

from town to town facing faces

all strange grim and stern

training to fly in the dark

to rain fire on homes

to return nowhere?

 

My body is steel

mind is blank

I move by my strong willpower

determined  not to defy the life

given to me in time and space.

 

Is it all His Wish??

Sabita Sahu.

 

DRAUPADI - 71

   

Prafulla Kumar Mohanty's 

DRAUPADI - 71

Virat's Palace

 

King Virat was weak willed and sickly

his authority in administration was usurped

by Kichaka, Sudeshna's brother, strong and wild.

Virat wore the crown Kichaka wielded the sceptre

his word was law, his decree was final, the Palace

ran to his whims, his lust, his orgies were

tolerated rather provided for by the King and Queen.

Without Kichaka  Virat was a cipher, his kingdom

was Kichaka's gift, hence the king was quiet,

took to the dice board as kingdom substitute.

And now happy to have Kanka as advisor

in his dice wars with the world to overcome

his inner conflicts over debased selfhood.

 

Draupadi in the simulated comfort of the palace

missed her five sons, they must have grown

handsome boys in the care of Sakha Krishna

must be learning all arts and skills fit for Princes

but poor me, I couldn't see their growth,

couldn't teach them mother's alphabet

and the thousand nuances of princely

temper admonished by my stern care to

blossom in integrated civility. 

They couldn't feel  their father's affection

never knew what parental home was

which people need in the human world.

And my Abhimanyu, Arjuna and Subhadra's son

how lucky he is to get mother's love

he too missed his father's heroic affection.

Draupadi's motherly heart sank in sorrow

tears flew in silent sobs, her legs failed,

she sat down and wept long -

Sairindri! called Madhulekha, Princess

Uttara and  Queen Sudeshna have sent

for you, go to the queen's chamber fast.

Draupadi wiped her face, rose smile painted:

life doesn't stop in tear floods.

 

When you are so comely, your mistress

the Empress of Aryabarta must be angelic

in beauty, majestic in bearing, confident

in authority and lavish in royal charity.

Tell me Sairindri, said eager Sudeshna

how was she as your mistress what did she

serve her five husbands and how could she

keep five heroes together without discord -

Madam, I was a mere maid, I have no mind

to penetrate the inner chambers of the Queen.

All I know is what I saw

she was a blue lotus in the morning

a lily at nightfall,  purple and pulsating at night.

Yet she was free in spirit like the air

carrying the flowers and trees and musk

to awaken sunken souls to lively bloom,

she spoke music she walked like a Royal Swan,

she gave unasked without discrimination -

Ah! You speak poetry Sairindri, you -

No Madam, I speak her language after

so many years of closeness you turn

phrases like my mistress who befriended

and poured herself out to me in all

seasons of her mind's drought and flood.

 

Draupadi's routine was to pluck flowers

at sunrise, string garlands for deities

attend puja rituals with the Queen

and other errands of the royals whenever

commanded, she moved like lightning

brightening all faces, her make up for

Sudeshna and Uttara were eyefilling

yet tasteful new, not new fangled.

Draupadi kept everyone happy, cheerful

at her efficient promptitude, the busy bee

humming tunes to make the inner chambers

resonate with novelty and charm

as though life's balance is calm redolent.

 

One day the Queen asked, Sairindri  you have

long hair reaching beyond your thighs

why don't you never oil them, why not

tie them with flowers - Madam

I'll do that when the Pandavas get back

their legitimate dues and I become myself

that is when I rejoin Queen Draupadi

as her other self in shadeless glamour.

Madam when the mind is humourless

the body is a lingering shadow, the glow

glamour of the world evade laden eyes.

Draupadi ran away to her chamber

Sudeshna looked pitifully in silence.

 

Release Me

I have served my time

I must be released

to my freedom

to know who I am.

 

The memory of my slavery

my yes sir, no sir, ok sir

I must overlap by

asking others

don’t count your salary

the rental from your houses

or describe  your humiliations

to enslave m y sympathy.

 

I was measured by your yardstick

now I have outgrown that

let me measure my life

with my own yardstick

let me coin words to

manifest them in action

charity, love, public penetration

of irrelevant issues

and make life relevant

meaningful free and fruitfull.

Sabita Sahu

DRAUPADI - 70

   

Prafulla Kumar Mohanty's 

DRAUPADI - 70         

 

Is man a mere doll in the village fair,

just mouthing words, swaying

hands and legs to preset beats?

No, how could that be when motivated by

self preservation and future dreams

we choose what to play and how to save

life by untangling the self from the net

of our own making in deviant routes,

to jump ahead to the victory stand?

 

Draupadi shook her head in disgust

why do I wander in imponderables

when life is mine my role whoever

devised, is mine and I have to play it

as if I am only an actor - No that's untrue,

my dialogue stems from my needs

desires, modulated by my native wit,

all the consequences of my words and deeds

are mine and none will partake of it.

I now know life is role playing

whether you write or made to write the lines.

All emotions are yours, the claps are yours

the flowers and thorns are yours:

I came as Princess, became wife to

five Pandavas, then Queen and Empress

from Empress to a forest dweller.

I have played so many roles

I have suffered my dark moments

of dishonour and abject humiliation.

Now I have to play a real life maid.

 

Sairindri I would be to Sudeshna.

From Draupadi to Draupadi's maid,

hairdresser to Virat Queen - Well!

Let me play Draupadi's hairdresser

to the hilt and collect my accolades

from fate's minions in ample measures

to throw them as ill fitting masks of time.

 

The Pandavas entered the Virat Palace

Yudhistira as Kanka, the king's dicemate

an ironical tribute to Yudhistira's

passion to gamble away his own worth.

But now it has come handy to escape

the secret eyes of the enemy.

Bhima joined the Virat kitchen as Cook

his culinary art and his great appetite

were matched in fortunate proportions.

 

Arjuna's transformation into a woman

hurt Draupadi's pride, but there was no choice.

Urvashi's curse had come to his relief,

his impotent year matched his form,

he was Brihannala, the dance music teacher

to the Virat Princess Uttara, simple and

beautiful, eager to learn classical arts.

Arjuna was intuitively well versed in dance

he had learnt all arts at Indra's place.

He knew instruments and was master of

the Pakhauj and Veena which he had learnt

to discipline his mind for the practice

of archery without tremors in his body.

 

The Aswins looked after the vast resources

of cows, horses for which Virat was known.

Their jobs would never invite attention,

their disguise was too insignificant

to alert roving eyes in the Virat land.

 

Draupadi stood facing the mirror

the room was small yet cosy

it wiped off twelve years of memory

of floor, of sleeplessness for fear,

of hunger, of privations, nightmares.

Only the sweet company of empathic

birds, protective rumbles of the wild

the soft shade of cooling trees.

The Ganga, Saraswati waters sustaining

Life's parched hopes for tomorrow -

Only these memories revived her drooping

spirits to face this new mirror and

clothes which Alpana would have rejected.

Yet how royal these Sudeshna wears

feel on my body; No, Sairindri's body

Draupadi's hairdresser now Sudeshna's.

I am Sairindri I make hair clouds

rain love, beauty and fragrance:

O cursed life! When shall I be myself?