Prafulla Kumar Mohanty's
DRAUPADI - 89
Draupadi’s
Farewell to Life
At sundown we reached the foothills
of the world's ladder to the stars
without a passage; Yudhistira said:
Now we shall climb Himavant to our
home
our worldly dharma is over, now we
need our final abode for restful
repose
from the heat of life we have come
to the snowy mountains at whose top
the sylphs will guide us to our
homes,
where eternal joy awaits us
for our final salvation in serenity.
He walked on followed by the brothers
I had no choice but to walk on
my wifely dharma forced my tired legs
to step up at the rear of my husbands.
The sunset glow dissipated into
blinking darkness slowly thickening
slowly condensing into a pall of
gloom.
The arrows of light returned to
the Sun's quiver, the pale glimmer
became a blindfold.
The feet were numb on the cold path,
Draupadi shivered, her legs were
heavy
her eyes strained to see ahead,
she became breathless, she panted
grasped for air, her strength ebbed
she fell on the stony ice
face down legs limp arms flailing
the thin air chocking her - She cried
stop! I cannot rise, lift me up!
Yudhistira didn't look back, the
twins
stopped, Arjuna looked back but
Bhima came down with long steps,
lifted Draupadi to his chest:
O my dearest Panchali, breathe!
Take my breath and breathe,
O'
Brothers stop,
our life's life has fallen
without turning his face Yudhidstira
said,
leave her, come up we have to go
untie yourself of Maya, let her
stay behind if she cannot come
come up Bhima, I cannot stop for her
or anyone, this journey is solitary:
Tears flew from Bhima's eyes as he
rose and climbed up, Draupadi saw
the glistening tear in the dark night
a cold grin half arose in her lips.
Breathless Draupadi dragged herself
on the numbing stone to find some
support for her aching body, she
leaned
on a rough boulder and breathed
her pain of body and mind in drags
her eyes half open with swelling
tears,
she saw the back of Bhima disappear
the enveloping darkness drew curtains.
They are gone, my five husbands!
why should they wait, who waits for
whom
does the river in spate wait for
the poor and weak to rush to safety
does the falling tree wait for the
old man
to pass, does the king wait for his
people
to be evacuated first in a fire?
Nothing waits for nothing, Wife
Husband,
Father Daughter, Master Slave, Night
Day
all move alone till they bow out.
We are all alone, relationship is a
customary social duty where each one
tries to dominate, man's life is
a lonely journey without destination,
Goals are the projections of the
alone man
in his perceptive illusions of reality.
I came alone, lived in a palace,
called Drupad Father, Krishna my
Sakha
suppressing desires lest I be caught
in the snare of repulsive gossip.
Married five against my will,
adjusted my ego with other egos
suffered unnatural humiliation
lived in jungles in fear and hunger
sat as Queen, Empress, loved by
people
became a mother: But now
what am I except an abandoned
nothing?
No wife, no mother no queen I am
I am just a woman a lonely human
ready to leave the world in cold
pain.
My life in nature, my role
on her stage is now over - Her body
stiffened senses withdrew to a stupor,
eyes, in lid heavy automation closed,
she whispered, the lips appeared to
move
no sound came, the cold thin air
shook:
Farewell Nature, farewell life
I lived intensely, lived well
loved all, men, animals, huts,
palaces, trees and rivers - Now
I leave you all with my last
Breath of Love.
* The End *
