DRAUPADI - 89

  

Prafulla Kumar Mohanty's 

DRAUPADI - 89

Draupadi’s Farewell to Life

At sundown we reached the foothills

of the world's ladder to the stars

without a passage; Yudhistira said:

Now we shall climb Himavant to our home

our worldly dharma is over, now we

need our final abode for restful repose

from the heat of life we have come

to the snowy mountains at whose top

the sylphs will guide us to our homes,

where eternal joy awaits us

for our final salvation in serenity.

He walked on followed by the brothers

I had no choice but to walk on

my wifely dharma forced my tired legs

to step up at the rear of my husbands.

The sunset glow dissipated into

blinking darkness slowly thickening

slowly condensing into a pall of gloom.

 

The arrows of light returned to

the Sun's quiver, the pale glimmer

became a blindfold.

The feet were numb on the cold path,

Draupadi shivered, her legs were heavy

her eyes strained to see ahead,

she became breathless, she panted

grasped for air, her strength ebbed

she fell on the stony ice

face down legs limp arms flailing

the thin air chocking her - She cried

stop! I cannot rise, lift me up!

Yudhistira didn't look back, the twins

stopped, Arjuna looked back but

Bhima came down with long steps,

lifted Draupadi to his chest:

O my dearest Panchali, breathe!

Take my breath and breathe, 

O' Brothers stop, 

our life's life has fallen

without turning his face Yudhidstira said,

leave her, come up  we have to go

untie yourself of Maya, let her

stay behind if she cannot come

come up Bhima, I cannot stop for her

or anyone, this journey is solitary:

Tears flew from Bhima's eyes as he

rose and climbed up, Draupadi saw

the glistening tear in the dark night

a cold grin half arose in her lips.

 

Breathless Draupadi dragged herself

on the numbing stone to find some

support for her aching body, she leaned

on a rough boulder and breathed

her pain of body and mind in drags

her eyes half open with swelling tears,

she saw the back of Bhima disappear

the enveloping darkness drew curtains.

 

They are gone, my five husbands!

why should they wait, who waits for whom

does the river in spate wait for

the poor and weak to rush to safety

does the falling tree wait for the old man

to pass, does the king wait for his people

to be evacuated first in a fire?

Nothing waits for nothing, Wife Husband,

Father Daughter, Master Slave, Night Day

all move alone till they bow out.

We are all alone, relationship is a

customary social duty where each one

tries to dominate, man's life is

a lonely journey without destination,

Goals are the projections of the alone man

in his perceptive illusions of reality.

 

I came alone, lived in a palace,

called Drupad Father, Krishna my Sakha

suppressing desires lest I be caught

in the snare of repulsive gossip.

Married five against my will,

adjusted my ego with other egos

suffered unnatural humiliation

lived in jungles in fear and hunger

sat as Queen, Empress, loved by people

became a mother: But now

what am I except an abandoned nothing?

No wife, no mother  no queen I am

I am just a woman a lonely human

ready to leave the world in cold pain.

 

My life in nature, my role

on her stage is now over - Her body

stiffened senses withdrew to a stupor,

eyes, in lid heavy automation closed,

she whispered, the lips appeared to move

no sound came, the cold thin air shook:

 

Farewell Nature, farewell life

I lived intensely, lived well

loved all, men, animals, huts,

palaces, trees and rivers - Now

I leave you all with my last

Breath of Love.

                                      

                                             * The End *