Prafulla Kumar Mohanty's
DRAUPADI - 86
Yudhostir’s
Coronation and Lamentations
Before the wailing of the earth
ceased
before the stars reappeared in the
sky
before the hazy sun attained full
glory
before the migratory birds returned
home
before the breeze regained its aroma
before Bhisma the greatest and best Kuru,
the renouncer of mundane life
the celibate sage was laid to rest
before I Draupadi, the empress the
Pandava wife
wiped my eyes of lost motherhood
my husband Dharmaraj Yudhistira lost
no time
to be coronated, the Vyasa logic
worked magically -
The Royal Throne should not be left vacant
-
my Yudhistira promptly ascended
the throne to Vyasa's Vedic chants -
I too sat by his side in full regalia.
But my soul ached, my eyes were
indrawn
the dazzling Hall made me feel small,
Krishna's reassuring smiles did not
lift
my drooping spirits, I felt guilty
for the death
of millions, suffering of the maimed
and
impoverishment of my golden
Bharatbarsha.
Later in my bed chamber I sat
on the thorns of a dilemma whether
my victory, the Pandava victory is
not
tainted by lies deceit and hypocrisy:
or we have been rewarded for merit
uncontaminated by wilful sinning?
Should I be happy my truth has won
my humiliation, indignity duly
avenged
by my righteous womanhood, my faith
in Justice above law and morality
which kept my resolve in the forest
unwavering despite Yudhistira's
stubborn refusal to see the woman
free honest truthful and brave
in his wife Draupadi, his queen
who was called a slut, who was
almost denuded before the world?
But is my womanhood restored
its honour at the death of all
offenders
and their ilk who came to Kurukshetra
only to destroy us by superior
strength?
Why not, Draupadi shouted
her voice trembling, body shivering,
why not be pleased that my tormentors
are now dead, killed by my own,
husbands brothers and above all my
soul's greatest joy, my saviour
my Being's navigator, my Sakha
Krishna?
What else is restoration if not
punishing the guilty with death?
My shame now is my pride,
my lost queenship has now been
restored, the world sings of my
praise,
those who sent me to forest
those who kicked my pride are now
covered under earth by shame
dishonour, defeat and reversal.
I am no slut, I am Queen,
Empress of the universe, the pride
of womanhood, exceptional
whose rightful energies have
fructified
in compensating the grievous loss -
Draupadi started pacing the room
her breath steadied she again sat
down.
If I am myself let there be no conceit
no insolence should stain
my free womanly self.
