I Have To Say Something

 

Today I wish to say

I am full, complete

swelling with my wants

desires, frustrations

the ebb tide of my oceans

are spilling over the brim

of my suffocated soul.

 

If you ask me how I am full

then listen -

My sentences are complete

with speech rhythm

mind rhythm vast and full

overflowing with a lull.

My treasury of pain is full

untold unshared voided splendour

my splintered life's sorrow too

is brimming full.

 

What's not there in my world:

conflict between truth and falsehood

love and betrayal

and the joy of tears

in the endless night

of endless worries

my heart is filled

like full moon tide

when and how in the

full moon night

I never know...

I myself cannot count

the numerous zeroes

in my bank pass book.

 

Then why should I say

I have nothing

I have the hulla ballu

in my daily life

of issues and themes

beyond your dreams,

it's my own property

not stolen nor borrowed

my evenings are crowded

with friends and relatives

the evening dies in chats

and swollen faces.

 

This is life:

somewhere the river dries up

elsewhere the storm

sweeps away life

the heart cracks

and again joins

with the new fevicol of compromise.

The desert sands sway

in the aroma of the thorn flower.

 

My body have

spring and summer

a touch of snowing winter

I am the queen of seasons

unblemished offering for deities

How can I say then

I am incomplete, empty?

 

My emptiness is also full

like gods unseen tears

I am full in love and separation

if anything is incomplete

that is absolutely my own

there is no word for it

no language is yet invented

No regrets for all that.

Sabita Sahu

 

 

 

 

Life Will Win

God never made any promise

to keep the humans hunger and disease free

never promised happiness

may be a bit of sadiastic humour

prompted Him to keep man

under the leash.

Man defied all his decrees

ran sat his world

lighted up his nights

bridged his rivers

built roads to his prosperous heaven.

God's eyes turned red 

Man's world became bloody,

all his engines of growth

cyber mobiles get hacked untimely

Man tries to outwit him

he counters with Corona, Ukraine

He watches the fun to our vain protests.

Who will win God or Man:

What a laugh

Life will win, 

Life will win,

Life will win.

Sabita Sahu

Touch

 

Today I am alone

turning my history

brief though

of remembered agony -

With parents touch

I felt reassured

ready to face the world

of untouchable nothings.

 

With my loves touch

I was in heaven

felt the unseen delights

I never knew I ever had.

 

Today my fingers

pound the keyboard

my children pushed me

dragged to slavish chores

handshakes in offices

cheery claps with practised

hands have numbed my senses.

 

Away from my parents

my love somewhere

in the stratosphere

machine like I wander

from here to there

to nowhere.

often in the balcony I sit

watching people, the noisy streets

horns, the moon bleeps

on them and also on me slantingly

my tactile sense is gone

but my heart is not numb

mind is not dumb.

I still wait for

his reviving touch.

Sabita Sahu 

 

My New Year Wish

My soulful greetings to all

greetings to the victims of the Ukraine war

may the new year bury the bombs

in the bits of hate

and may roses blossom

on the graves of the dead.

 

Greetings to the snow buried

men and women for the struggle

fought for survival

but nature won

that nature which man has destroyed

changed the character

from benign to malign,

May great nature

forgive us for our mortal follies.

 

May this new year free us

from Covid's wrath

may men and women

holding each other's hand

dance to create anew

amity friendship and well being.

 

May the new year bury all

religion, caste, politics

may humanity and love

be the religion of man.

 

May the new year

prepare us all to fight

hunger, sickness and death.

What Buddha did may now

be our deeds to make the planet

the greatest monument

graceful, beautiful and happy.

Sabita Sahu

My Account Is Endless

My lazy nights do not allow

the sun to rise on time

disturbing my morning rituals

delaying my day purposelessly.

 

But what will happen

if the clock works symmetry

of nature's habits

initiate activities

in the terrestrial world

the sun doesn't bring breakfast

the aroma of the rose garden

doesn't prepare my children

for school; How can I keep my cool

to focus on my inner world?

 

My elements are different

my earth doesn't rotate

it is eternally still

my water doesn't purify

as everything in me is pure.

I breathe a different air 

and my fire never burns

it gives only light and light:

But my inner world is choked

by the ways of the world.

 

You may say I am a freak

may be I am but

my earth holds love

my air smells of compassion

my water purges the soul

and my sky is a canopy

shading all inanities:

let the light sleep more

how does it matter

if my inner world functions

as per my wishes,

I don't care

whether the warships sink

in the black sea or

the Cyber Hawks watch my

bank account depleted

by a million days

I'll still draw my key

my account is endless

because it is a big zero.

Sabita Sahu

 

 

 

Queen's Way All The Way

I came and I became

what I am,

one day I'll be history

maybe in the dustbin of time,

but now I am the Queen

I fought, I struggled

I won and lost

but now I have my kingdom.

 

Usurpers  daily torture me

but to no avail

I fight for my rights

I don't collect taxes

nor allow others to tax me

for I owe nothing to anyone

yet every hour they

 invade my territory

jeopardize my authority

like the opposition

in democracies in their

unreasonable jealousy.

 

I have no army

I am a one woman army myself

Kings and Princes suitor like

cajole me and also threaten me

with death as punishment

for my pride for not yielding

to their wishes,

they try to enslave me

they take away the prizes

which I have merited

by hard honest work

they inflame my temper

But I stay calm and proclaim

O' you friends, relatives

my royal master, my children

don't encroach my freedom.

 

I have come as you have

to perform to strive to achieve

my womanly graces:

You do the same

in your own ways

there is no conflict between us

if you attack my kingdom

I'll destroy yours,

If you think you deserve more

I declare I deserve all.

 

Who knows who comes when

who knows who goes when

I rise above

who what why when

you do the same

if you can't

Leave me alone

to raise all monuments

for posterity.

Sabita Sahu

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Collyrium

The collyrium in my eyes

wrought magic

the sky settled

on the green valley

rotten mangoes flew up

the law of motion inverted

I waited to catch them

nothing fell

the sky disappeared.

I washed off the collyrium

the house returned

the street city

the cartographers world

crowded me from all sides

screams of horror

shouts for help

the familiar reality of life

all returned in horse haze.

But when I looked up 

the sky was not there

a blank void

stared at me

with baleful eyes.

Sabita Sahu