Sunday 20 February 2022

My Undead Dreams


My half seen world reveals

the unseen like the lighted tunnel

inside my heart opening nowhere,

Yet I run for life every moment.

 

My needs are simple: Food shelter

and glowing lipstick on flashy wear -

This is not simple you may taunt

but I like to flaunt what is given

as the nightqueen in starry nights.

 

Now I need a clear blue sky

a world free from all preparations

for war's horrible fire celebration

I now need freedom from all needs

Impossible you say? Yes impossible:

I excel in impossibilities.

 

Life means needs - for body and mind

when the body is free the mind sinks

in the ocean of imagined needs

inviting the black sea to expand

her shores swallowing all human needs.

Now tell me is there anything else

than body and mind to need in life

May be  Salvation which I don't need.

Sabita Sahu

 

It's Just Another Day

Time does not end

the year ends, the calendar

changes shape size and colour

my new day begins with old habits.

 

I have no time to measure

loss or gain in arrogant enterprises

I do not want to suffer a morose temper

in deals and dealings of life

my neighbouring Uncle now rides

a scooty the bike is gone

perhaps sold to younger bones;

the crowd increases in the medicine store

I am bored stiff my sweaty mask

sticks to my patience in the queue.

 

At noon I am in my kitty party

habit or hobby I don't know

my irritating nerves need escape

I throw cards at will celebrating

my agitation in losing money.

Evening I have my yoga class

everything is fixed preset

and my night world grow on me

like Mahendragiri tearing Visuvious.

 

But the morning will come

alarm will break my drugged sleep

I will wish the sun Good morning

his winks will wake me up

to the tunnel again.

 

 

 

DRAUPADI - 60

  

Prafulla Kumar Mohanty's 

DRAUPADI - 60

Draupadi's Universe

 

The sun was past the meridian

all her husbands ate with relish

went out severally on the calls

of living at the heart of Dwaita

adjusting searching inventing

new ways to survive and overcome

all transitions of life's mazy corners:

Draupadi came out to breathe free

after the breathless homemaking hours

to be herself among trees sun air and

'the murmurous flow of pristine Ganga.

But what is this! Birds from all sides

came flapping in tremulous joy,

sat looking at her with appealing eyes

on branches, bushes and the mynas

sat on grass, all looking at her, Draupadi

in joy tried to read their eyes when

the birds fluttered screeched and flew up

in panic speed up on the trees - Draupadi

saw deer, boars, monkeys coming in hordes.

In fearful silence she watched perplexed

but in the next moment she saw them

sitting in a ring waiting for her - What?

She wondered, have they all come

to see her, greet her or to listen to her

unspeakable agony in anthemic strain?

What can I do for you, what do you want?

Draupadi asked in nervous ignorance:

the birds chirped, the beasts burred

in total confusion Draupadi ran inside

brought the pots and pans, placed them on

the ground and said, I have only this

take it - And lo the world of birds on trees

animals danced in joy - Draupadi poured

the rice and curries into a big pan

all ate with relish to their full, she

looked amazed there was enough for everyone

the rabbits, squirrels, boars, deer

danced and left, the birds flew

and all perhaps said tomorrow tomorrow!

While collecting the pots and pans she saw

still some food  enough for her, she

looked around put some of it for the ants

and was happy, truly happy for none left unfed,

there was enough for her world.

But how could that be? She bowed

to the earth and sat down to eat.

 

 

Sunday 13 February 2022

DRAUPADI - 59

 

Prafulla Kumar Mohanty's 

DRAUPADI - 59

The New Green World

 

Silent was the dawn

the trees were sleepy

the sun yawning behind the fog

looked as if betrayed in the bed.

But duty is duty dharma is dharma

red faced sun looked up in silence

the Pandava five and lone Draupadi

clad in saffron started taking leave

tearful faces in silent sobs.

Gandhari, Kunti, Vidura, Bhisma

blessed them, a small crowd

loyal commoners watched the crownless

bare graceless royals mournfully

gauging in awe the spins of fate

making the prince a pauper in a jiffy:

No conches blew no petals  strewn

no chariots waited nothing moved

save the heavy feet of the Pandavas,

followed by the dainty feet of Panchali

hair open body bare mind clouded

yet radiant defiant determined

they walked bowing to the waving crowd.

 

The journey was absurd

aimless without destination

only the sun rose up ignoring

the moving and unmoving worlds

small big still born aborted ruined:

None complained of sweat or hunger

thirst drank itself empty

parched throats stiff and sticky

but  legs moved, dry eyes looked

for the first shade by a brook.

After meandering for hours

when the sun leaned towards west

lazily coursing over their heads.

 

Arjuna exclaimed - Water! There

but there was nowhere near, yet

they hurried their tired bones.

Finally sat under a Peepal tree

Bhima said let's see whether these

trees have something for our hunger:

Asking Nakula to guard exhausted Draupadi

they went out to find some fruits

or something  to keep them going.

 

Leaning against the tree trunk

Draupadi was half awake half dead.

Nakula said, I have no words to balm

the pain - Draupadi raised her left hand

to silence him, her eyes were shut

Nakula was wise enough to keep peace.

 

Draupadi shuddered as she felt

Dussasan's nails on her arms

Karna's 'slut' Duryodhan's thighslaps

rang out in her ears but she fought

her tears, killed the rising wanton.

Why should she burn in her own embers

who thinks of her and why should they

when their own exiled reality is haunted

by shame guilt and self flagellation!

Life is single, a breathing unit.

Man lives and dies on his own

creates time space expanding it

by his own efforts of body and mind,

the broad soul encompasses a larger

space of life taking in man and nature

to widen life's inclusivity:

but it's always one world, private

intimate and real the others are

space filling pawns for his lifeplay.

Her own world is vast engulfing

five larger worlds but when she fell

the thud was her own thunder.

Draupadi opened her eyes

sat erect mustering her sapping nerves

to bring order and harmony to  her world.

 

For three days they moved

the sunless woods became familiar

the watching animals empathised

they found a clearing on the Ganga

green capped trees offered enough

sun and shade, the Pandavas built

a hut with the yielding branches

grass and mud and their labour

raised a forest palace rich enough

to shelter their impoverished pride:

It was the Dwaita forest that gave

the Pandavas safe shelter and time

to cogitate the unseen alphabets of life.

 

Draupadi took charge of the kitchen

fuel and water were aplenty but

what to cook, who will bring what

unless my husbands turn beggars?

She thought for a moment in pain -

Why should she yield to sorrow

like the fate blaming chest beating destitutes?

She came out of the hut walked under

the tree fanned sun soft pacing

the free grown virgin grass up to

Ganga's murmur haunted banks.

She bowed in reverence muttering

O Mother teach me to flow over terrains

of vicissitudes, hate torture neglect

and golden beds of diamond intent

without losing the tunes of being

to the cacophony of discord.

Let me flow mother carving out my own bed

without surrender or compromise;

let me be myself in spring and winter.

 

She washed her long hair, bathed

and walked back with spring in her steps

dried herself into fresh clothes and found

the kitchen was full with rice vegetables

fruits and many types of berries.

Who has brought  these? Who will give

such gifts or alms to the Pandavas?

May be my Sakha has sent these  

or my father - No, King Drupad knows

I would never accept  his help even in

death bed counting the thatcheave drops

watching life ooze out moment by moment.

 

Bhima came a  broad smile on his face

Draupadi - Is anything more you want

tell me, I'll get those tomorrow -

So you brought all these!

Who gave you ?

Did you loot some strangers ? Or -

'Quiet'. Not a word  more,

did Bhima ever beg

for anything in life?

Did he ever steal?

I know you are nursing a wound

I too burn inside in helpless rage

don't you provoke me - Sorry Bhima

misfortune causes moral  amnesia.

Hunger often drives the animal inside

to override the human to corruption.

.

But my Bhima cannot forget dignity

I am assured of that - Sorry Bhima!

Then prepare a hearty meal, I don't

remember when I had  full belly!

I felled hundred trees for a merchant

a man from Kachh and I asked him

for provisions not gold for my sweat:

I am proud of you my husband

come after your bath in the Ganga

I will feed  you  all your favourites and more -

smiled Draupadi with an effort, visible memories

darkened her eyes as she turned away.

 

Justice

I haven't crossed any trumpline

nor have I crossed traffics of controversy

I haven't desecrated any temple

why then my prayers have rebounded on me

like the bolt from the blue?

 

I reciprocated parental love

paused for breath and walked on

the carved out path with all my

sincere and conscious efforts

never tilted anyone's applecart

why then unseasonal rains

have ruined my fields

and throttled my simple dreams

to fulfill my worldly duties?

 

I was taught, be good,

do good to others

I have followed each word

dotted my i's

served everybody denying

my urges to steer ahead

leaving behind my responsibilities:

why should I then be

denied my dues?

 

Is justice really blind

is goodness a crime in your books:

when I waited for rain

you gave me hail and thunder

when I bowed to you

I got blisters

my flowers turned out burning embers.

 

Should I not revolt now

you may laugh and call me silly

but now I'll  be my god

and give you back

what you have given me

looting my wages in mindless reign.


Sabita Sahu

 

 

 

 

 

 

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                               

Sunday 6 February 2022

Laughter Is Forbidden



I was born with a smile

the nurse doubted whether

it was a smirk or lip trick

making her wonder at life's

jokes of logic defying humour:

she gave me a smart slap

I cried laughing tears

and they all became happy.

 

This is what happens to me

when I smile someone is baffled

when I laugh they get angry

I eat with a smile but they frown

I read everything with joy

but the words, lines phrases

hit me with combative tragedy.

Life is sad, mad, bad, hard

the words all I read in school

I muttered and laughed what I read.

 

I laugh in pain

smile at loved ones call

I divert my attention

from the serious rumination

after all the unshed tears

too need a way to be drained out.

Shall I drown in my tear floods

and die an ordinary death.


Sabita Sahu

DRAUPADI - 58

 

Prafulla Kumar Mohanty's 

DRAUPADI - 58

The Exile Begins

 

Is everything predetermined

man is a pawn moved removed

by fingers that write our destiny?

Who writes this with what indelible ink?

Yesterday, today, tomorrow all

roll out as per the prewritten script?

Then why am I here kicked by fate

tied to another's folly suffering

consequences I never deserved?

If Yudhistira lost his mind and did

what a noble king ought not to do

why should Bhima, Arjuna, Nakula and Sahadeva

and I Drupad's daughter face

the quirk of fate why should

Indraprastha lose her king in a trice

people lose freedom, family its fulcrum.

Sudden calamity like a blizzard

blows apart time laden minds.

If the king's fate is people's destiny

family's doom single life is fateless?

Do I or Bhima Arjuna not have lives

with our destinies prewritten?

 

Wordless Draupadi walked

behind the Pandavas from the city

to the forest's shady expanse

of trees animals birds and men.

Draupadi relived the scene when

all her husbands stood guilty

with hung heads crownless and dark.

We will have to go to the forest

for thirteen years said Yudhistira.

Am I still in your We; are these

four braves in your We, whom

you wagered as your own property -

I am sorry Panchali I regret

my shameless act, pardon me!


Ask yourself you wise Yudhistira

people call you Dharmaraj, expect

justice from you in their hour of need.

Have you been just to yourself

your family, your responsibilities?

I don't know where I stand

in the scheme of things, am I still

the Pandava wife after you diced

me away to perpetual ignominy?

And you Kunti Madri sons -  Is loyalty

to king brother parents so absolute

you will sacrifice your dharma morals

the balancing logic of your minds

at the altar of irrational passion?

We have no answer to your queries,

all of us were betrayed by our

values when ritual became life.

Trust became a trap and - Stop it Arjuna

Was your Gandiv in sedation?

Your right senses were in chains?

 

You have every right to chide me

said Yudhistira but I cannot undo

what I have done, if you want to live

in the comforts of your Father's Palace -

What? Why should I go to Kampilya

while my husbands undergo expiation

for self inflicted misfortune,

transgressing the arc of their souls?

I have done no wrong said Bhima:

Yes I know I am the guilty one

you are all free to leave me

alone I will atone for my deeds -

Again you are wrong Yudhistira,

Bhima, Arjuna or I have no cause

to desert you, the bond of family,

love of brothers, respect for elders

all are in shape said Draupadi:

let's together face the new reality.

 

 

Forever New