His Wish

Today I jumped from the table,

See I am fine: His wish

said mother but don't do it.

 

I jumped from my school balcony

only a few scratches : His wish

said mother but never again.

 

Today I topped in the class

Good: His wish said mother

a broad smile lighting her face.

 

Today father died, who will

support my studies: His wish

said mother, her eyes belching tears.

 

Mother is now gone, was it also

His wish to make me fight alone?

 

I am now a pilot - not of a ship

I fly a fighter plane deep into

enemy territory, blasting bridges

making orphans at will,

my love was ruined by his

disapproval of my career,

I am homeless: I live

in a barrack, greying

I sleep fitfully, search for

certainties  I don't know of what kind.

 

Is it all His Wish?

To send me to orphanages

from town to town facing faces

all strange grim and stern

training to fly in the dark

to rain fire on homes

to return nowhere?

 

My body is steel

mind is blank

I move by my strong willpower

determined  not to defy the life

given to me in time and space.

 

Is it all His Wish??

Sabita Sahu.

 

DRAUPADI - 71

   

Prafulla Kumar Mohanty's 

DRAUPADI - 71

Virat's Palace

 

King Virat was weak willed and sickly

his authority in administration was usurped

by Kichaka, Sudeshna's brother, strong and wild.

Virat wore the crown Kichaka wielded the sceptre

his word was law, his decree was final, the Palace

ran to his whims, his lust, his orgies were

tolerated rather provided for by the King and Queen.

Without Kichaka  Virat was a cipher, his kingdom

was Kichaka's gift, hence the king was quiet,

took to the dice board as kingdom substitute.

And now happy to have Kanka as advisor

in his dice wars with the world to overcome

his inner conflicts over debased selfhood.

 

Draupadi in the simulated comfort of the palace

missed her five sons, they must have grown

handsome boys in the care of Sakha Krishna

must be learning all arts and skills fit for Princes

but poor me, I couldn't see their growth,

couldn't teach them mother's alphabet

and the thousand nuances of princely

temper admonished by my stern care to

blossom in integrated civility. 

They couldn't feel  their father's affection

never knew what parental home was

which people need in the human world.

And my Abhimanyu, Arjuna and Subhadra's son

how lucky he is to get mother's love

he too missed his father's heroic affection.

Draupadi's motherly heart sank in sorrow

tears flew in silent sobs, her legs failed,

she sat down and wept long -

Sairindri! called Madhulekha, Princess

Uttara and  Queen Sudeshna have sent

for you, go to the queen's chamber fast.

Draupadi wiped her face, rose smile painted:

life doesn't stop in tear floods.

 

When you are so comely, your mistress

the Empress of Aryabarta must be angelic

in beauty, majestic in bearing, confident

in authority and lavish in royal charity.

Tell me Sairindri, said eager Sudeshna

how was she as your mistress what did she

serve her five husbands and how could she

keep five heroes together without discord -

Madam, I was a mere maid, I have no mind

to penetrate the inner chambers of the Queen.

All I know is what I saw

she was a blue lotus in the morning

a lily at nightfall,  purple and pulsating at night.

Yet she was free in spirit like the air

carrying the flowers and trees and musk

to awaken sunken souls to lively bloom,

she spoke music she walked like a Royal Swan,

she gave unasked without discrimination -

Ah! You speak poetry Sairindri, you -

No Madam, I speak her language after

so many years of closeness you turn

phrases like my mistress who befriended

and poured herself out to me in all

seasons of her mind's drought and flood.

 

Draupadi's routine was to pluck flowers

at sunrise, string garlands for deities

attend puja rituals with the Queen

and other errands of the royals whenever

commanded, she moved like lightning

brightening all faces, her make up for

Sudeshna and Uttara were eyefilling

yet tasteful new, not new fangled.

Draupadi kept everyone happy, cheerful

at her efficient promptitude, the busy bee

humming tunes to make the inner chambers

resonate with novelty and charm

as though life's balance is calm redolent.

 

One day the Queen asked, Sairindri  you have

long hair reaching beyond your thighs

why don't you never oil them, why not

tie them with flowers - Madam

I'll do that when the Pandavas get back

their legitimate dues and I become myself

that is when I rejoin Queen Draupadi

as her other self in shadeless glamour.

Madam when the mind is humourless

the body is a lingering shadow, the glow

glamour of the world evade laden eyes.

Draupadi ran away to her chamber

Sudeshna looked pitifully in silence.

 

Release Me

I have served my time

I must be released

to my freedom

to know who I am.

 

The memory of my slavery

my yes sir, no sir, ok sir

I must overlap by

asking others

don’t count your salary

the rental from your houses

or describe  your humiliations

to enslave m y sympathy.

 

I was measured by your yardstick

now I have outgrown that

let me measure my life

with my own yardstick

let me coin words to

manifest them in action

charity, love, public penetration

of irrelevant issues

and make life relevant

meaningful free and fruitfull.

Sabita Sahu

DRAUPADI - 70

   

Prafulla Kumar Mohanty's 

DRAUPADI - 70         

 

Is man a mere doll in the village fair,

just mouthing words, swaying

hands and legs to preset beats?

No, how could that be when motivated by

self preservation and future dreams

we choose what to play and how to save

life by untangling the self from the net

of our own making in deviant routes,

to jump ahead to the victory stand?

 

Draupadi shook her head in disgust

why do I wander in imponderables

when life is mine my role whoever

devised, is mine and I have to play it

as if I am only an actor - No that's untrue,

my dialogue stems from my needs

desires, modulated by my native wit,

all the consequences of my words and deeds

are mine and none will partake of it.

I now know life is role playing

whether you write or made to write the lines.

All emotions are yours, the claps are yours

the flowers and thorns are yours:

I came as Princess, became wife to

five Pandavas, then Queen and Empress

from Empress to a forest dweller.

I have played so many roles

I have suffered my dark moments

of dishonour and abject humiliation.

Now I have to play a real life maid.

 

Sairindri I would be to Sudeshna.

From Draupadi to Draupadi's maid,

hairdresser to Virat Queen - Well!

Let me play Draupadi's hairdresser

to the hilt and collect my accolades

from fate's minions in ample measures

to throw them as ill fitting masks of time.

 

The Pandavas entered the Virat Palace

Yudhistira as Kanka, the king's dicemate

an ironical tribute to Yudhistira's

passion to gamble away his own worth.

But now it has come handy to escape

the secret eyes of the enemy.

Bhima joined the Virat kitchen as Cook

his culinary art and his great appetite

were matched in fortunate proportions.

 

Arjuna's transformation into a woman

hurt Draupadi's pride, but there was no choice.

Urvashi's curse had come to his relief,

his impotent year matched his form,

he was Brihannala, the dance music teacher

to the Virat Princess Uttara, simple and

beautiful, eager to learn classical arts.

Arjuna was intuitively well versed in dance

he had learnt all arts at Indra's place.

He knew instruments and was master of

the Pakhauj and Veena which he had learnt

to discipline his mind for the practice

of archery without tremors in his body.

 

The Aswins looked after the vast resources

of cows, horses for which Virat was known.

Their jobs would never invite attention,

their disguise was too insignificant

to alert roving eyes in the Virat land.

 

Draupadi stood facing the mirror

the room was small yet cosy

it wiped off twelve years of memory

of floor, of sleeplessness for fear,

of hunger, of privations, nightmares.

Only the sweet company of empathic

birds, protective rumbles of the wild

the soft shade of cooling trees.

The Ganga, Saraswati waters sustaining

Life's parched hopes for tomorrow -

Only these memories revived her drooping

spirits to face this new mirror and

clothes which Alpana would have rejected.

Yet how royal these Sudeshna wears

feel on my body; No, Sairindri's body

Draupadi's hairdresser now Sudeshna's.

I am Sairindri I make hair clouds

rain love, beauty and fragrance:

O cursed life! When shall I be myself?

 

 

The Mind Is The Brush

He drew  four lines

on ]a piece of paper

with a charcoal which

he had picked up dementedly

while walking  along the road.

But Lo! He drew a Cross.

 

He then thought he will use

his son’s colour box

brought a fine drawing board

and worked all night

to draw the cross.

 

Next morning he was in the bed

his son looked at the cross and laughed

what cross is this without

Christ’s body nailed into it.

He took out paint and brush

and drew a bleeding Christ

and went to his school.

Father woke up and with

bleary eye looked at the board

he was surprised,

Who drew this?

 

The picture was sold

for two lakhs.

Sabita Sahu

 

DRAUPADI -69

  

Prafulla Kumar Mohanty's 

DRAUPADI - 69

The Year Of Incognito

 

When the Pandavas broke the hut

and started moving directionless

in the shady domain of thick jungles,

Draupadi wondered why this hideous

self negation to keep breathing?

Where can man hide in this open

vat spread of the  universe? Are we born

to live incognito in disguise?

The meanest flower under slimy

stones cranes its neck to see

and be seen by others:

for a flower dying a virgin

is a waste of nature.

Birds sing not for their own pleasure

they reveal the worth of their being.

The astral sky is also for show

luminosity is its own salvation

only when viewed longingly by billions.

 

Why should my husbands each capable

of challenging, turning the world

on its axis by their personal prowess

cower under irrational evil in disguise,

lest they be discovered to repeat

their unlawful unjust exile?

They know as I do you only die once ,

 why hide your face, voice and nature

and live for one year under tempers

unworthy of your true nature?

Draupadi could not walk with her

heart heavy on her unwilling feet.

 

She said: O forsaken heroes of Fortune

why are you wading through thick darkness

for fear of life, walking like thieves

fleeing from the hands of law?

Where will you hide you bright

Pandavas in what earth hole of safety?

When fear chokes your voice

and cripples your bodies the true heroes

stand firm to face thunderbolts in honour,

come challenge the Kaurava brothers

to single combats to settle the unjust

dice game rules by manful defiance.

 

Calm Panchali calm, we have endured

the wrongful barbs for my impulsive

actions, now patience must hold us

to our integrity, said Yudhistira in a

sad voice as if to himself in anguish.

Panchali retorted, we are all together

in this dark forest searching for

a place to hide; does this behove us,

this passive cowardly run around

for dear life - We feel your pain

Panchali, but we cannot fight,

Arjuna said, we have no army, no armaments,

Duryodhana is resource ready to fight

we have nothing, not even chariots -

That's not the issue Arjuna, Yudhistira

averred, we are atoning for my sins!

My dharma does not permit me to flout

the rules, the agreed conditions, however

ridiculous, it may sound, we have

no choice but to endure our pain

for the thirteenth year to roll over:

But where are we heading to, the twelfth

year will end very soon and the

Kaurava spies must be everywhere.

What plans we have for the year of

 hiding our identities and where?

 

Draupadi moaned and sat down

on the ground exhausted and tearful

Pandavas too sat down consoling Draupadi.

We are going to Virat, not to Panchal -

No, never to Panchal, I cannot carry my

shame to my father's kingdom -

Nor are we going there Panchali, assured Yudhistira

neither to Trigarta, Virat is our only hope,

I have made contacts with some people

who are already at it, now let us not

rue our fate nor think of revenge,

let's concentrate on the present and

keep our mind soul together for the

challenging year to pass without events.

We are all moving towards Virat

hope the morning sun changes our lot.

Hunger

I am never hungry

whether my plate is full or empty,

I am never hungry for

social media adulations,

never desire for seven star palace

nor am I hungry for diamond

or the peacock throne,

I never fidget on my three leged chair

yet I wait for the crown of fortune

sitting on my head with the premium of love.

 

But love too is rare as sunshines

in the dark desert of my heart

but should I weep when my love

swims across the oceans

to bring something more

beautifu;l than Beauty’s self

straining his nerves for more

and more to put all jewels on me?

 

No my love I am hungry

for your kind words and care

if you bring the best dishes

from heaven’s kitchen

I’ll not be full

I won’t even touch it:

I am hungry for your touch

satiate my hunger if you love me

as I love you.

Sabita Sahu.