Pride

Prafulla Kumar Mohanty

In very early childhood I had heard, ”ati darpe hata lanka, ati manescha kaurabah’ and since then my confusion between darpa  and abhiman continues. If Lanka was destroyed because of darpa which means arrogance how was the destruction of the kaurabs different? If darpa is pride mana or abhiman can perhaps mean arrogance or insolence. But Ravana was more arrogant than Duryodhan in my understanding of human nature and its attributes. If we transpose pride and arrogance the meaning may not be any different. How then should we understand pride? Pride and arrogance are two different words but often are used as synonyms which I feel is wrong. Pride is a consciousness of inner fullness, strength and ability which is often heroic. It is an inner faith in one’s judgement of others, of situations. The man of pride affirms courage and beauty and lives with a commitment to striving forward. He does not rush at things nor does he compromise or surrender. He keeps his words. Above all he recognizes pride in others and respects them.

Arrogance often stems from an inflated estimation of one’s own inner strength. An arrogant man is stubborn, prefers to attack or abuse a person without logic. He has a kingsize ego which fails to estimate his situation in a perspective. He may be heroic but he has no sense of being. Ravana and Duryodhana in my view were both arrogant. Possessiveness, revenge, machinations, conspiracy and a lusty indulgence in the self define their arrogance. If we call this pride, I think, it will be an abuse to the word. Pride is a benign virtue without which a man is an empty shell. In Homer’s great epic The Iliad we have a great hero Achilles who knows his strength, for his life’s purpose was to live with name, fame, courage and glory. He trained for it and achieved all those heroic virtues. But he knew when to withdraw. He had to bow down to the wishes of the master, king Agamemnon although he never acknowledged any authority. He knew when to show mercy. After killing Hector, Achilles ties his body to his chariot and drags it to his camp triumphantly. But when the old father Priam goes to Achilles’s tent to beg for the body of his son so that the Trojans can mourn his sacrificial death and give him a burial, Achilles is moved to tears.  His tears are not a sign of pity or empathy. He sees his father in Priam and says:

                      Poor man , how much you’ve borne

                      Pain to break the spirit!

                      What daring brought you down to the ships all alone

                      To face the glance of the man who killed your sons

                      So many fine brave boys? (xxiv 605-608)

This is pride. Achilles understands the pain in the heart of Priam and understands his situation. His soul awakens. But in Duryodhan the stubbornness never melts. While he lay helpless, leg and waist broken by Bhima’s mace he ties the Senapati’s turban on Aswasthama’s head and sends him to kill the few survivors. He has no feelings for his people, for Hastinapur and in short for humankind. He is beyond pride and arrogance; he is a monster of depravity who enjoys when human beings suffer. Whereas we have some redeeming features in Ravana, who kidnaps Sita to avenge his sister Surpanakha’s mutilation but never forces himself on Sita. He professes his desire and love to Sita sitting helpless under an Asoka tree but behaves like a proud man. He waits for Sita’s willing reciprocation of his love. He too sees the ruin of Lanka sees the death of his brothers, sons and subjects but in his dying moments shows magnanimity and teaches politics to Rama.

Pride is a positive value. A man who has no pride is just an animal. Pride flows from achievements and the dreams and aspirations a person has to build and create something different in life. A proud man creates his own world and beautifies it. He lives behind an aura of memory. He knows his strength and weakness. He does not boast of his achievements. Arjuna too was a proud man and because of his magnanimous pride he refused to kill his brothers, teachers and men in Kurukshetra battlefield. He preferred to be called by posterity a coward than killing his clan. Arjuna was confident that he could kill them all, alone. And only he who can kill can withdraw from the field. This is the quality of pride, not insolence or arrogance. He does not show off, nor does he brag of his strength. But there are others who are proud by virtue of their birth in a royal or noble family. That is no pride. Pride is not an inheritance: it is earned by disciplined perseverance and hard work. Pride is an attitude but one should know how to wear it.