Prafulla Kumar Mohanty
‘Who am I’ is a question that
often bothers everyone be he a sophisticated intellectual, a world renouncer or
a cog in the wheel proletariat slogan raiser. My love one morning in a blue
mood muttered ‘I am searching for myself,’ to my consternation as it was a
spontaneous whisper without any apparent reason. My bemused comment was ‘you
are yourself’ as I am myself, Hamlet was himself and the fly zooming past my
nose is itself. But the self seldom yields to dispassionate analysis and only a
few, a countable few analyse themselves for self knowledge.
But what is the self knowledge?
No knowledge can exist in a cultural, philosophical or socio- political void.
In this world of relative sensibilities my ‘I’ is defined in terms of other
‘I’s and ideas and thoughts. I am defined by my parents, friends, colleagues,
bosses and even neighbours however much I disagree with them. My love defines
me as I define her and identify her in a context –whatever be the idealized
contour of the context. The legitimation of the context is not easy. Human beings
talking about universal truth merely follow deductive logic which could be
challenged: for the general truth is hard to perceive. The general context too
is mostly conjectural. Man in the beginning defined himself in terms of God’s
decree- which he himself imagined. Man created sin-merit, good-bad and moral
principles as he was compelled by the human condition to create a creator. The
creator’s universe was structured by divine morality. He thought the phenomenal
world was His creation. His identity is determined by the structured world in
which his entire existence is guided and perhaps even regulated. But the world
of 21st century is man-made.
Knowledge changes in each
generation. Opportunities made available by new knowledge give rise to new
needs. New demands are made on life which is mostly a biological event. Parents
cannot now say, follow our values, you will prosper. The idea of prosperity and
self-fulfilment keeps on changing. Food clothes and shelter problems have been
almost solved hence we ask for more calories, more protein content, better
houses and fashionable clothes. These too change, vary from country to country,
person to person and from mood to mood. We now fight the menace of pollution,
imbalance of ecosystem which are our own making. We don’t bother about truth,
salvation. Being or life after death: these are issues for idle researchers
whose needs of mundanity are supplied or earned. Search for meaning, purpose,
identity are now passe, we search the
Net for the new excitement. When problems beset us we prefer the psychiatrist
to the temple. Today’s Arjuna has no Krishna to solve his existential querry.
If he chooses to shun the Gandiva and war he can go for agriculture. If he is so
upset by moral dilemma he can go join some Ashram or simply be a Social Security
card holder and live under the State’s mercy, his Cycle of Life.
Toady religions don’t give
identity except a political bargaining ploy to fight for some relevance. The
cycle of repetitive lives is now a straight line where cosmicity is reduced to
a few years of birth, growth middle age and finally a death. The average human
does not expect his children to raise memorials for him. The memorials which
the state raises for some great sons of the soil are mere tourist spots for the
future generations. That future too is only a few hundred years and the fate of
the Bamiyan Buddha awaits them all in the changing process of ideologies.
Meaning changes adding new scenes to the Cosmic Drama.
Man today has rights- human
rights to carve out his /her own identity as he pleases, the Sabrimala Deity
has his own rights. He does not wish to see menstruating women to pay obeisance
to him. He has his rights. Meera would have asked ‘are you Purushottama?’ And the
modern activists Meeras now ask: why not take our bhakti, we are well padded,
no sign or smell of our feminine essence will pollute your celibacy. Man today
has choice. He creates chances, takes risks to create his identity. Those who
believe in the heroism of a rapist demonstrate their sexual prowess by forcing
a woman on the roadside. The world has changed, identities too change moment by
moment. He wears several hats. His identity too has shades, forms, shapes, and
fragrance which are not constant or permanent.
Know then thyself my love,
presume not to scan God or godlessness be yourself. If you wish to be a
housewife be a good one: a loveable socialite – be one: A true believer in love
and creativity, orient your being towards that and be a proud Cleopatra braving
planets and throwing plates at the laity. If you feel like sulking,
quarrelling, breaking utensils do: for whatever you do you are yourself. As the
sky changes colours, earth changes forms, man changes in time; governments
change, societies change; you change yourself as the moods takes you on. But be
yourself for whatever you do is a facet of your identity: Love it. We can never
know what life is all about but we can live the composite whole of our identity.
